Ok, so welcome to an insight into my world. I shop at charity shops. Regularly. Now, I'm hoping we're all beyond the stage of pointing at me and yelling "Urgh, fuggin gypo!" Are we? Good. Not for clothes, I must confess. That does still strike me as a little...well...icky (I know, I earn enough to be that much of a snob. But I'm only being honest!) No, my poison is that big stack of records hidden in the corner under the Jilly Cooper novels. Oh come now. Don't act so surprised. Yeah, ok, fairly predictable, but few things give me more pleasure than filing through a load of battered old vinyl in some forgotten corner of the PDSA shop.

Why? Two words, my faithful companion: hunter/gatherer. In this modern world of mobile phones, Nathan Barley and Chocolate Coke, there aren't many opportunities to don a loincloth, clutch a spear in hand and kill some defenseless animal (I tried it once in Luton and was slapped with an ASBO for my trouble. I even had to hand back the scalps. Well..ok... the fake Burberry caps and hoodies. More on that later.) I can't even pop down to my local stream and pan for gold. You're more likely to turn up condoms and pogs (remember pogs?) The only place to go out and hunt is in the culturally acceptable world of consumer culture. Well, nuts to that! Charidee it is!

It's all about the thrill. You're leafing through the Mantovani records, Matt Monroe, Top of The Pops 76, Peter Frampton Comes Alive, Alison Moyet, Handel's Messiah and the South Pacific soundtracks you find in every store, and then you'll happen across something great. Well, sometimes something just ok. But sometimes something really great! And it'll be 50p, or at worse £1.50. Hey big spender. Sure you can buy Human League's 'Don't You Want Me' for a quid off Itunes, but for half that you could get the whole Dare album with artwork and all. I often go on huge missions in my regular stomping grounds, picking up 10's of records. Ok, I might spend 30 quid, but I'll get an armful of vinyl, rather than 2 LP's from HMV, innit? And it's all for charity! You're practically buying Karma! Or in some cases, 'Instant Karma' by John Lennon, original Apple 7 inch, for £2. Bargain!

Anyway, that's what i done did today. Here are some of the best bits of what i done boughted:

1. Vic Reeves - 'Born Free'.
2. Altern8 - 'Activ8 (Come With Me)'
3. The Shangri La's - 'Leader Of The Pack'
4. Paul McCartney - McCartney II
5. Roxy Music - Avalon
6. Miami Sound System - 'Dr Beat'
7. Various - Top Gun OST
8. Genesis - Abacab
9. Shalamar - 'A Night To Remember'
10. The Housemartines - London 0 Hull 4
11. OMD - Architecture And Morality
12. Earth, Wind and Fire - I Am
13. Fleetwood Mac - 'Everywhere'
14. KWS - 'Please Don't Go'
15. The Wonder Stuff - Never Loved Elvis

Fantastic! The only genuine disappointment was Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells. Now, the first couple of minutes that we all know is great, no question, Exorcist, creepy, cool, DJ Shadow sampling genius. But after that it goes into this wanky rubbish that no normal person could possibly enjoy. Wubbish. Still, worth one piece of poo for 15 undeniable nuggets of gold.

So yeah, i do a lot of work for charity, but i don't like to talk about it. If you like the odd record, why not pop into your local charity shop and see if you can spread the love? Just don't do it round my way or I'll take you down. This is my patch, mofo. If I find you bent double over a stack of records that should rightly be mine, I'll batter you with Fairtrade products or one of those cheap CD rack things. Whatever comes to hand. Just so you know.