Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Me, Myself and I
When I first saw the word Meme on the internet, I didn't realise it was like a real word. I thought it was made up, just from me me. As it was usually stuff someone wrote about themselves. Heheh. Dork. (Anyone who has also been pretending all this time can find out more about it here. Note to self: read The Selfish Gene. Assume it is about some guy called Gene who is, like, really selfish.)
Anyway, I haven't done a meme for ages, so I nicked this one from Annie Slaminsky, and I know Steve's done it too. Amazing.
Five snacks I’d enjoy in a perfect, non-weight gaining world:
My patented amazing super chocolate milkshake that I made one wintertime from full fat milk, luxury chocolate ice cream, Nesquick chocolate mix, chocolate sauce, chocolate sprinkles, Cointreau infused clotted cream and freshly fallen snow.
Cherry Coke drunk through a Cadbury's Spira (whatever happened to those?)
Chocolate Midnight Cookies Haagen Dazs
Chocolate Covered Oreos (that I can't seem to find anymore anyway)
Frosties sweets dissolved in cheap own brand lemonade (we used to drink this as kids!)
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world:
Green and Blacks Butterscotch.
Toasted wholemeal pitta bread and carrot sticks dipped in Houmous.
Slices of mango that are really overipe and squishy.
(Ironically, I now actually prefer the healthier snacks.)
Five things I’d do if I were a billionaire:
1. The boring and obvious thing is to make sure all my family and friends were financially secure. But only if they'd want me to. If there was a way I could find to do it anonymously, that would be so much better. Either that or I'd wear a crown and make them all call me "my liege".
2. I'd love to set up my own record label. Especially in the current climate. Then expand it to club nights, movies, all that stuff. That'd be pretty cool. And I could release my own records! And noone could stop me! Noone!
3. There's so much hate and anger and suffering and sadness in the world. I couldn't fix it with money. But I could try. So, lots to charity. That kind of goes without saying.
4. I'd like to take the time to travel. But, you know, Phileas Fogg/Michael Palin style. Just walk out of my front door with my passport, a wallet full of notes and an mp3 player and just see where I end up. Wanna come? Drinks on me.
5. I'll arrange that when I die, my body be wired up with animatronix. Then, at the end of my funeral, my corpse opens the coffin just as Michael Jackson's Thriller starts up over the church PA system. I climb out, zombie style, and do the perfectly choreographed Thriller dance with a load of brilliant backing dancers who spring from the choir stalls, before walking to a catapult, which then fires me through the window into my grave, way across the church yard.
Best. Funeral. Ever.
Five jobs I’ve had:
Working in the newsie - As mentioned in the previous post. Surrounded by sweets and crisps and magazines. The NME, Slush Puppies, The Face, Spiras, penny sweets, Vox, Select, Melody Maker, sigh, amazing. Shame people had to come in and interupt.
Temping for the council - I had to wear a suit. Not so good. But the people in the offices I worked at were surprisingly cool, actually. Some of them would even talk to me about music.
Shuttling old people around - I helped old people on and off a minibus to the hospice every day. It was easily the sweetest temp job I've ever done. Melody FM and fun conversations with OAPs who had all the reasons in the world to be pissed off, but were all fun and delightful. Plus I had to work about three hours a day and got paid for eight. The Velvet Underground and Stevie Wonder on my walkman. Long summer days. One of my best summers ever.
Production Assistant - I got my dream job working in radio. It almost killed me. When I lost the job after six months, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. Slept for a week. My girlfriend split up with me and I barely even felt it. I signed on at the job centre. A definite low. They looked at me with contempt when I told them I wanted to work in radio. But I got the opportunity to go back and sign off again six weeks later. But I know I could be back there any day, so I don't feel smug about it. I just feel lucky.
Button Pressing Monkey - I love playing with music. I love messing around with audio kit. I love making stuff happen live on air. I get to do it all. I love my job.
Five places I have lived:
Swindon (well, almost did)
What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was just coming to the end of my A Levels. In an unusual fit of nostalgia, I've still got my homework diary from my final school year. I had English exams today and tomorrow. My Leaving Ball was on the 24th. I don't really remember anything specific about any of it, I just remember an overwhelming feeling of release when it all ended. I wanted out of school and out of Watford. I felt totally suffocated, and yearned for my own independence. It's such a cliche, but I hated school and I hated my hometown. My only outlets were music, either through CDs, gigs or the hilarious musical act I was part of. I toyed with computers and guitars and samplers and sequencers, with rather limited success. But it set me on the path to where I am now.
Straight after our clearing up day, me and six of my friends went Interailing around Europe. We did nine countries in the space of a month, devouring culture, food and amazing scenery. Then I came back and bummed around before escaping to university. It was one of the most turbulent and exciting times of my life.
I should do this again in ten years time and I can just copy and paste this whole thing.
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